I’m not exactly sure when it started. Maybe it was the day the two oldest women in our neighborhood showed up at dinnertime and said that Dane had invited them over for dinner. I was dumbfounded and had no idea what to say to them, so I said ok come on in.
DANE!!!! Come here please. Did you invite Donie and Janette to dinner? Sheepish grin and sideways glance. Maybe! Well ok what are we feeding them? About that moment the pizza deliveryman shows up. I think he was around 6 years old maybe 7.
He has always been an extremely friendly outgoing kid. He tackles everything head on - even at 6, even things I didn’t know he knew about! Inviting people to dinner! WHAT!?
That must have been around that time the school assigned an “inclusion specialist” to our team. At our very first meeting he said to me, “You are no longer a parent, you are a politician.” For inclusion to work the kids have to like Dane and the parents have to like you.
Invite them over, host play dates and have adult parties. This is how my “political career” began. I had no idea how true his words were. He was right and it worked. Dane’s haphazard idea to invite the ladies to dinner sparked the idea to make it a thing. Then and there Pizza Monday was born! Our door was open to anyone that walked through it on Mondays. There would be food on the table, wine, good people and great conversation. Come on over!
My advice to parents: recognize your kid’s strengths and help them grow. This single event led to 10 years of socialization that I could not have afforded to pay for in therapy or groups, and best of all HE was the one who initiated it! He created purpose out of his need for interaction with his community. Did he choose those 2 women because he inherently knew they were safe? Maybe, and ok most of the time these impromptu events and people make me crazy but all of this fulfilled his needs so I suck it up.
Today, many years later, he’s still doing this. He creates a Friday night dinner party at El Gringo in Hermosa Beach that’s been going on for 3 years now! I’m so grateful I’ve been eliminated from the equation and its not in my house!