Today is one of those days I sit down and cry with my vodka bottle.
Today is a day that most people probably won’t relate to.
We have a vocational skills trainer provided by the regional center, and even though that sounds official, it’s a $15/hour job, which (no offense) doesn’t get you the most qualified person to work with your young adult with disabilities. We’re now on our 3rd job coach in 6 months and the latest, Jane, finally - is the cream of the crop. I love her and she is on it. Willing and eager to please with a background in art business and jumping in to help us push Dane Capo Art forward. I can’t afford for her to quit! But today she came in wanting to talk….
Yesterday Dane and Jane met in Culver City to work. (I requested them to work away from our house, which has become Dane Capo Art Headquarters. I’m trying trying hard to create a work schedule for him that takes him away from “headquarters”.)
Dane has been working with Jane for 4 weeks now, 22 hours a week & has had shown more focus than he has had in years. It’s good for him! He thinks he wants a job but he needs to see what it takes!
So every week I plan the schedule. The list of things to accomplish is forever growing; organize contacts, paintings, create and distribute the newsletters, social media postings, applications, follow-ups, and everything else under the sun. I feel like I’m still writing his curriculum, just like all the years when we homeschooled.
Maybe he’s not ready for this after all. In the past if Dane was unhappy with a situation, he would create what I call an “exit behavior” to get out of it. In 3rd grade he had a horrible teacher & climbed the school’s 30-foot fence, which resulted in the fire department arriving & a trip to the principal’s office. In 4th grade he peed on the playground, which got him suspended for indecent exposure & kicked out of the recess that he didn’t want to participate in.
And now he’s 21 and he’s done with this situation so he decides to elbow Jane the job coach’s boob. I personally would have punched him but Jane is much kinder than I am and unfortunately she read the behavior as sexual. It is not. I spent the morning explaining that he does not have the language to say I am done, so he misbehaves instead. He has relied on this behavior since kindergarten and it works for him.
Where do we go from here? He just doesn’t see how painting famous people and being self-employed is the best job he could ever ask for. All he talks about is working for a company and having a pension and insurance. What am I to do?