“It takes a village.” Right.
I am constantly reminded this is my journey and it is a VERY lonely one.
I hate being out in my community and hearing everyone say how “great a community” we live in. Where? Who? When? My neighbors and I went through 3 years of litigation as they watch me hold my son who is having an epileptic fit. It still blows my mind. I have moved on but a part of me still isn’t over it. Who does that?
Then there’s the school district - educators and administrators deliberately pushing my son out because they didn’t know what to do with him. Or how about the 5 families I served pizza to every Monday for years so my son could have friends only to wake up one morning and see all the kids have moved on. Where is the “great community” you all speak of - because I don’t see it! My mind rushes back to him being pushed out of t-ball at 5 by angry parents because Dane was distracting their children. Was there not more to be taught or learned that year than catching a fucking ball! He was 5!!
And now, at 18, we’re applying for a “special program” and oddly enough my son is not fitting into their box either. Strange, considering they are the leading autism group in our country. They say “I have never seen a kid like your son, he has so many skills!” Well he has so many because we were pushed out of school and we were forced down a different path. Our path has been that of surrounding him with creative, loving, kind, caring individuals that I hired when we homeschooled. These people saw Dane’s potential. They saw how clever, manipulative and smart he was. With those skills he couldn’t possibly be retarded! (as his paperwork says).
His greatest gift may be the way he interacts with people (how NOT autistic of him!) He came home from work the other day with a business card from a gentlemen that works at City National Bank, which is the bank my son wants to work at. The man told Dane to call him when he turns 18. Amazing!
And then I take a deep breath and pause. God gave this kid to me and He is always calling me to rise to the occasion. With every door that has closed, a brilliant kind person that sees who my son really is - says, “I’m going to help you.” The down side to that is I have shelled out more cash than I care to recall. I suppose I should thank the Lord I had it to shell out!
We are going to find our way with or without a village - but never without God!