I had the fright of my life yesterday. It was a situation that terrifies every parent - maybe even more so when you are raising a very bright independent child with autism.
Dane started riding the metro system in LA 3 years ago (against our better judgment).
He was determined to exert his independence and get away from his family and neighborhood, which is typical for a young man his age, but very scary. His father said fine, but you need to take 6 months of a self defense class in case someone tries to hurt you.
So now we’ve spent the past 3 years praying for his safety every time he gets on that damn train. I cry every time I drop him off at the station. I’m in such turmoil trying to support his need for independence yet protect him from the big bad world.
So I pray … A LOT!
This latest scare began with a phone call from Dane that sent us speeding to the Metro location called Harbor Freeway. (Google it - I’m sorry but it’s not in a good area). In that 20 minute drive I was shaking and completely hysterical. Filled with panic. I did not know if Dane was okay & didn’t know what had happened. When he called all he said was that there was a bad man and it was good thing he took self defense classes. As you can imagine all I could think was WHAT?! What does a “bad man” mean? Did he use self defense? We had him on the phone giving a description to the cops and all he could say was that the bad man was dark, both him and his clothes. Dane’s language skills are at the bottom of a barrel somewhere. He’s able to communicate enough to meet his everyday needs and also open bank accounts and mortgages but after that … it’s pretty much all the way down to the bottom.
The Metro Harbor Freeway station has 3 levels & looks like something out of a science fiction movie. It’s situated right smack in the middle of many freeway exchanges so the whirling of cars and trucks is overwhelming. It’s also located in what I would call ‘the hood’, not a good place for a young man like Dane to be wandering around in. These sketchy characters have been around my son on Sundays for the last 3 years?.
Dane had arrived at this station on the 2nd level & needed to go to the bottom level to get on the bus to Hollywood. That is where the “Bad Man” was hanging out. Dane said the bad man approached him and tried to touch him saying “Go Home!” and “Go Away”! This freaked Dane out so he ran up to the top level to get away from him. That’s when he called me because he couldn’t figure out how to avoid the man and get on the bus to his destination.
So now I’m crying and drinking heavily reflecting on it all.
HE DID IT!!!!!!! He did absolutely everything I would have ever hoped he would do!
He did everything we had trained him to do for the last 21 years (never knowing if any of the information we gave him sunk in)! He quickly made the best possible decision anyone could have made. We talked to him about the “bad man”, who was a homeless drug addict who was talking to everyone and no one. Dane was determined to continue his mission to the Hollywood Farmers Market, so he continued his journey. He did not let fear or anxiety take over his day.
My crying and fear has now turned into laughter and pride and I’m having an adult beverage to celebrate how far we have come!