Autism and many other disorders are plagued with stigma, starting from the time of diagnoses, sometimes even by the parents themselves because often we’re in denial or “it’s not that bad”.
Many bright, capable children are put into special education classrooms due to financial constraints and to give exhausted parents a break for 7 hrs. It’s all some parents have. It’s their savior and their sanity. The downfall with all of this is what can happen to the child.
Here is my story. And it really does take a village.
Dane was diagnosed with autism at 5. VERY late for a diagnosis, due to his seizure disorder and meds he was on. He was put in a special education classroom the following week. This was very hard for me but the "professionals" swore this is where he belonged. Only a few weeks later did I see him isolating himself and walking the perimeter of the schoolyard. I was shocked! Dane has always LOVED people! He loves friends and interacting. To see him off by himself put me in a rage.
We left the special education classroom that day and never looked back. I fought for full inclusion in our neighborhood school and got it. Dane spent the next 5 yrs. fully immersed and happy for the most part. He had friends and play dates and although it was often a battle between me and the teachers and administration, Dane was growing by leaps and bounds. He was reading and doing math, things the school psychologist said he’d never do! He was finally catching up!
This all came to a screeching halt at the end of 5th grade. He was isolating again because his teacher decided he was too much effort to teach. She sat him in a corner and at every turn pointed out he was not like everyone else. And so it began again, every chance he could get to get away from his peers and everyone he took it. Once again I took Dane and walked away and never looked back. He recovered! THANK GOD!
You see, no matter the diagnosis there is a PERSON in there! A soul longing to be understood, loved and accepted. He longed to be treated like all the other kids. Yes sometimes he might seem weird, but seriously people have you looked around lately WHO THE HELL ISN’T weird. We are living in a society where women are doing some weird ass shit to their faces and we are still having lunch with them and talking to them like we didn't notice they spent 10 grand fucking up their face! That was a conscious decision THEY made, but we don't even flinch.
People with autism are not making conscious decisions to be weird! Sometime they just are.
With this in mind - I wish people would ask themselves -
Am I the kindest person I can be? Am I reaching out to that kid in school or having my children reach out to that kid in school that is "weird"? Loving them, accepting them, helping them. What if your interaction with someone like that ended up saving a life, just because you reached out and treated him or her with kindness, acceptance and love?